Valentine’s Day, like most romantic situations, has never been my strong suit.
I dreaded those Valentine’s Day card exchanges in elementary school. I was the Ralph Wiggum of rural Nova Scotia.
Thankfully, I somehow got married and can focus my limited romantic skills entirely on Jenn (what a lucky lady!)
With everyone tweeting this week about using beer to woo a date for Valentine’s Day, my mind went in its traditionally strange direction. Instead of using it to get a date, which beers would I ask to actually be my Valentine?
Here are my choices, based on the type of night I planned for my Valentine:
Steak dinner at a nice restaurant (not unaffordable, but better than usual) and a movie. A present too – flowers or jewelry maybe? This is tried and true. No bonus marks for creativity, but you can’t go wrong either.
For this situation, I’m going with a beer that has survived the test of time. Brewed very well, but without too many bells and whistles. This ain’t no barrel-aged stout or double IPA. It’s safe, but guaranteed to work.
Here, I’m asking Steam Whistle Pilsner!
A nice homemade meal, some candles and watching Netflix in our PJs. For this kind of night, I’d want a beer as warm and cozy as the domestic bliss it represents.
Look out Rare Bird Full Steam Stout, I’m requesting permission to snuggle!
If these are my plans, I clearly don’t care at this point. But hey, maybe I’ll go classy and buy an Angus burger meal. It’s self-loathing, but with a hint of hope. And like an Angus burger Valentine’s Day meal, the beer needs to say I’ve given up on romance, but that I haven’t full accepted it yet. Essentially, I want to ask the McDonald’s of beer.
Here, my Valentine would be Molson 67 Session IPA.
“What did you have for Valentine’s Day dinner?”, my coworker would ask.
“Some delicious Angus and a session IPA!”, I say.
They walk away impressed and I can go have a little cry.
I’m bringing my A-game this time. I’m going one of two routes here:
- A meal I’ve spent the past 12 months saving up for, the best hotel room I can find overlooking Niagara Falls and a horse-drawn carriage ride (cheesy? Oh yeah, but it would work)
- A surprise vacation. Likely a cruise or all-inclusive down south away from this ungodly cold weather.
I’m sparing no expense in my efforts, so why skimp on my beer?
In this scenario, I’m asking Samuel Adams Utopias!
Which beers would you ask to be your Valentine? And for what scenarios? The options are endless, so let’s hear about your perfect night of craft beer romance!
Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!